Unexpected.

Right now, I should be in Ezeiza Airport in Buenos Aires, mingling with the few students who arrived on the same American Airlines flight from Miami, waiting another hour or two for the rest to show up.  I should be loaded down with two backpacks and a small rolling suitcase; three months worth of shampoo, toothpaste and hand sanitizer; dark circles under my eyes from a 16 hour travel day and that slight feeling of anxiety in my stomach that one could mistake as the effects of airplane food.

But, I'm not.  I'm sitting at the breakfast table at my parents' house in Raleigh, replying to never-ending official school e-mails, trying not to start crying again.

I'm not going to Argentina this semester anymore.  I've deferred to the Fall and will be there from August to December.

A friend told me to say, "that the truth is a very long, boring, needlessly complex, bureaucratic, kafka-esque saga, which, although has an incredible main character, ultimately is not worth your time or energy listening to it all, kind of like the 6 series of Lost."

But really, it is.  To get straight to it: it just isn't the right timing.  God made that very clear, even if it is the most difficult decision I've ever made.  I know, hope, that it will be the right one and that this time away from school will be a great time for growing and learning and being.

On that note, I'm currently looking for internships that have a Spanish element to them.  I've planned a trip to Acadia National Park in Maine with my momma in late July, after the summer sessions have ended.  I'm also intending on spending a good amount of time in Asheville because, after all, Asheville and Argentina have the same number of letters and both start with A.

I covet your prayers during this time of trying to understand why my life seems to have fallen apart.

But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.  At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.  Deliver me from sinking in the mire; let me be delivered from my enemies and from the deep waters.  Let not the flood sweep over me, or the deep swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me.  Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good; according to your mercy, turn to me.  Hide not your face from your servant; for I am in distress; make haste to answer me.  Draw near to my soul, redeem me.

Psalm 69: 13-18a